Avoid your adult kids! Not because they are getting older and it makes you feel old, it's how they treat you.
It starts when you're in your sixties. At first, when they talk to you as if you are a child, you tell yourself they can't help it. They mainly talk to their kids and can't remember to change their tone.
Watch it when you go to pick them up in your car and they insist on driving. Or when you see them checking your car for scratches and dents to be sure you aren't having minor accidents. That's when you become concerned about when they might take your keys so you can't drive and you begin to think about being old. Don't let them near your car.
Be forgiving when they insist they told you something and you don't remember. They have so many things on their minds they can't always remember who they told what.
Be kind when they say, in that patronizing tone, "Mom, I was standing at the counter peeling potatoes and you were pouring yourself another glass of wine." Notice the emphasis on 'another glass of wine' and that they are counting.
Be prepared to be given advice, told how you should do things, what you should not do, and for heaven's sake do not disagree. Just smile and say, "thank you, dear."
I admit they begin running your life because they love you and of course they have realized you aren't the smartest person they thought you were when they were preteens.
They are watching to be sure you don't have car accidents, that your forgetfulness isn't the beginning of dementia, and your wine drinking doesn't get to the point of impairing your activities.
They love us, they want to take care of us, they don't mean to make us feel older than dirt. To avoid feeling old, avoid them when you can, love them when they intrude and take over but find your own space, keep it sacred, and hang out with people who don't make you feel old.
To my family---I love you all and I think you are perfect in every way!
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