Challenge

Thinking About,

 I have faced many challenges in my life. Recently the challenge of proving my merit has been tossed. The playing field is my endeavor to be a published writer. The ego has challenged my spirit to a duel of wills. I realized it was necessary to confront my ego to find out why it fought against my spirit. I also needed to learn why the spirit was weak. I used the power of my imagination to bring them together in a setting of my choice. 

     I chose a neutral territory where they both felt comfortable. My practice of meditation frequently led me to a meadow of peace and contentment. It was picturesque with a stream gently coursing along a flower-lined bank. Giant oaks filtered the blazing sun as a soft breeze rustled the leaves like a whisper. 
     My mind's eye gave shape to the two combatants. Ego was arrayed in brilliant shades of the rainbow. Spirit was barely visible clinging to a white shroud. My mystical heart sank at the vision. Spirit was clearly the underdog. 
     At this point I felt I had no control of the scene. Dimly I could make out a form behind each of them. Their 'seconds', I assumed. Who might they be? I was not supplied an answer as I tried to focus on the scene to sharpen their forms.
     Behind Ego emerged a Goliath of intent. An angel of concern floated beyond Spirit. I heard the whispers of the trees then realized a crowd was circling the field. The faces became clear as the entities chose sides. 
      I was appalled to see who had elected to encourage Ego. Abandon ambitions stood in the forefront. The actress, singer, entertainer and writer, my childhood dreams. They were not childish imaginings but neglected talent. I had been encouraged to pursue these ambitions, but self-doubt overcame intent. 
      Rallied behind Spirit was a group of hopes and desires. Commitment, discipline, and fortitude closed ranks wanting Spirit's success. They relayed thoughts of encouragement. "Don't give up this time." Fight for your dreams" "You have legions of strength to call upon, years of experience." 
     Ego and his cohorts stood in silent confidence. They had been challenged before and always won. The were undaunted and sure of their victory. 
     "The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." I heard a voice and saw the mediator approaching. 
     "There will be no physical battle today," he announced as he stood between them. "This will be a war of words, a confrontation of ideologies."   He motioned for Ego and Spirit to stand inside a circle he indicated with his hands. "You will turn and walk to opposite sides of this circle. Face each other and walk forward. With each step, you will pause and present your case beginning with the challenger - - Ego." 
     They walked slowly as if counting each step. They turned, faced each other, stepped forward and Ego tossed out the first salvo. 
      "I have toiled arduously to maintain my identity. I will combat any object that threatens my existence." 
     Spirit stepped forward and spoke softly. "I am no threat to your continuance. I can enhance it." 
     "No," Ego stepped forward boldly. "I am content with things as they are. I do not wish to endure trial and tribulation for naught." 
     "There will be no trial or tribulation if you work with me," Spirit's voice grew stronger. 
     "I work alone. I require no help." Ego's stride was firm, the posture noble. 
     Spirit hesitated. "You have accomplished a great deal in this lifetime but why stop now?" Was this a conciliatory tactic? Was Spirit about to use psychology? 
     "I have not stopped. Daily I offer encouragement." 
     They had reached the half way point moving toward the middle of the circle. 

     "You encourage the status quo." Spirit pulled back its shoulders, raised the countenance and appeared gaining strength. "You barricade her from anything challenging. I thought you were stronger than this

      Ego stood statue still. The crowd fell into a heavy silence, preparing for an onslaught. "My strength cannot be questioned. I have time and again proven my might." Ego's eyes were penetrating looking directly at Spirit. Words were clipped with anger. "Did I not thwart you when you offered pretentious visions of a career in entertainment? She would have been buried in that industry. She lacks confidence. Her addictive nature would have periled her." 

     "Who rules those qualities? Who keeps her without confidence?" Spirit's voice rang like a church bell. "Who has continually told her she is not good enough, not smart enough, not strong enough? Who created the illusion?" Spirit threw back its shoulders, stood defiantly, gaining strength. 
     "I have been her protector. I have shielded her from heartbreak and disappointment." Ego offered defensively. 
     They stepped closer. Spirit's image began to change. The shroud became a cloak striped with golden hues. "You have deluded yourself. Fear has imprisoned you. You quake at the thought of being criticized." 
     Ego's voice faltered. "I have had but one goal in mind and that has been to keep her from failure." 

     "Then you have failed in your endeavor," Spirit moved closer to Ego, the voice softened, loving. "The greatest failure has been not encouraging her to face her fears."   
     They were face to face in the center of the circle as Spirit's radiance wrapped around Ego. "Give her the opportunity to succeed." 
      "I have no assurance that she will," Ego's voice was full of doubt, as Spirit wrapped its aura of radiant light around Ego. "If you allow me to accompany you, the chances will be greater that she will succeed." 
     Tears streamed from my eyes as they faded from my mental vision. I knew that I must not fail them. The gauntlet had been passed to me. The challenge is mine.